Why my Mom had a Delayed Reaction to the Pain from her Domestic Violence Attack

My father domestically abused my mother, resulting in serious injury and a life of constant pain for her.

One of the ways that my father, Mike Rinder, the abuser of my mom, has victim-shamed my mom is by taking information out of context. One specific is the notation the paramedic made on the medical report they did at the scene of the attack. Under pain level, they wrote, "2 out of 10." They had asked my mom in that moment of extreme trauma and pain, which was her response.

My father, Mike Rinder, has since used this to justify his physical attack and make less of it.

Something that has really bothered me is the fact that my mom was in extreme pain just days later. It was at this point we found the physical attack at the scene of the assault was much deeper and more extensive than it initially seemed. And it is now 12 years later, and she is still in pain.

I finally found the answer by simply looking online. Upon looking, there were so many mentions and studies on it -- all of which made total sense to me. There is a known medical term for it which is Delayed Pain Reaction.

Here are just a few of the studies I found:

"Delayed onset pain means symptoms went do not begin immediately but come on at some point after the initial injury. In some cases, pain may begin a few hours later, while in other cases, the pain may be further delayed by days or even weeks."

And another asks why pain can be delayed. Very interesting and makes sense. "Delayed pain is most common in soft tissue injuries such as muscles, tendons, discs, and ligaments. There are generally two reasons for the pain not to be felt immediately following an injury – adrenalin and swelling… While adrenalin is very short-lived, swelling can last for long periods. Swelling is caused when fluid and white blood cells move into the injured area to promote healing. Unfortunately, the pressure the swelling can put on your nerves can cause pain. This process can take time which causes a delay in you actually feeling pain.

For example, many people who are involved in car accidents walk away and do not feel any pain. Then fast forward a few days, and they can’t get out of bed in the morning due to neck or back pain."

The last one: “Our bodies create immunities designed to mask pain. The brain releases adrenalin and endorphin as a defense mechanism in traumatic situations. Consequently, once the chaos of the accident is over, you have a chance to unwind from the drama. At that point, the symptoms are felt.”

It just made total sense to me, and it dispels the lie and the victim shaming by Mike Rinder, which is based on the fact that she said her pain level was a 2 out of 10. I was at the scene of the domestic violence attack. I know how much pain she was in the heat of the moment when the adrenaline was running high and for every day since the attack.

It’s clear to see, using the report written within the hour of the attack, the severely damaging domestic violence attack by Mike Rinder is an inaccurate gauge of the abuse and of the damage done to my mom.

With the lie dispelled, Mike Rinder can no longer use it to get away with damaging and hurting a woman. I'm really happy that I found this because it finally makes sense and is the truth about what happened.

I am posting this as I hope it helps other people who have had domestic violence attacks wonder why their pain was delayed and what they can do about it or why that is.

Taryn

Justice4mom

The Truth Kept from Podcast Viewers

Can you believe Megyn Kelly received (and we believe read and watched) an open letter from my brother and me, and video telling our story of Mike Rinder and what we think of our father—and she said nothing about what we have to say?

During a two-hour podcast, Mike Rinder told disparaging lies and defamatory statements about our mother, whom he violently abused. Yet not a word was said about the facts we sent. We covered in our letter that he will blame others for his bad parenting—and he did it again on the podcast.

You can read our open letter here:

Open Letter to Mike Rinder.pdf

Download PDF • 240KB

You can view the video statements from me and from Ben here:

Insinuating that our mother was a bad mom is so disgusting and infuriating. She was, and still is, always there for us and has never turned her back on us like Mike did. She never treated us like a “distraction” like Mike did, and never thought of us as “specimens” or “puppets” or scum like he did and still does. Megyn asked “what kind of mother” would do what Mike falsely accuses her of. I ask what kind of media host defames a woman she’s never met and knows nothing about and takes it from a former husband who physically assaulted her? I was there, you weren’t.

I thought Megyn Kelly would care more, as she puts herself out there as a voice against abuse. And yet here she is supporting a man who abused his wife, and she is giving him a platform to continue to denigrate and abuse us, his children, and our family, friends and our beliefs.

As we are THE children he talks about, who better to speak up in reply? Mike Rinder, as usual, gave the audience a grossly one-sided view. Our open letter and videos speak for themselves. They give the real truth about Mike Rinder and the abusive man and father he is.

Taryn

Justice4mom

My Father’s Abuse And The Emotional Toll It Took

Despite a decade of harassment from my father, the man who physically assaulted my mother, I have stood fast in speaking the truth and exposing his abuse. I am reposting this blog as a reminder of all of the damage this man, Mike Rinder, has done to his own family.

IT’S TIME TO HEAR FROM ME, MY MOTHER, AND MY MOTHER-IN-LAW ABOUT THE REAL MIKE RINDER

As you know, my campaign is Justice4Mom. That’s because my mom was abused by my father, Mike Rinder, the man behind Leah Remini’s A&E show. There’s never, ever a reason to make it okay to hurt a woman.

Harassing my brother

After my brother got diagnosed with melanoma, he was given a few years to live. My Mom and I were devastated. Your world goes upside down. So, my mom went to go see my dad, Mike Rinder. They had been married for over 30 years, and though he had deserted the family, she felt it important to tell him about his son. She didn’t ever get to tell him. He found out otherwise. He never answered her communications.

By this time, Benjamin had already gone through numerous surgeries and intensive radiation treatment. Sick as a dog, though, but on the mend. So, when we hear that Mike is there harassing my brother. He took a bunch of people he knows my brother doesn’t like and that he despises. He goes there to make it look like he loves his son, with a video camera, to make it look like he cares. Any father that would care would have checked on him.

No, he marches in with a video camera and thugs. He had to be thrown out by the police. He’s crossed the line. Mike pulls this stunt for a photo op when my brother is almost dead. This jerk, who’s supposed to be his father, is doing this.

We called up Andrew (my uncle), and we said we were going to see Mike as a family. We need to go see him and tell him to stop that. Just knock it off. We don’t want anything from him. We were happy. You can have your life. But when you come and harass my brother—it pissed me off. He’s already deserted us. He’s already treated her like crap her whole life.

“Stop it! Stop it! You’re killing me!”

We were going down Gulf to Bay. We didn’t know where he lived. I was like: “Oh, my God! There he is! He’s standing in the parking lot!”

So, my mom goes straight up to him. The next thing you know, I mean literally within split seconds, he’s got her hands in a vice grip. Her skinny arms. He’s got her hand, and he is obviously grabbing her because she’s yelling, “Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

And he’s holding tight. He’s a big guy. And she’s saying like, “Stop it! You’re hurting me! You’re hurting me!” And then he pinned her, so she couldn’t move and then pulled her arms down. She started hearing her bones cracking, and I was freaking out. And she started screaming, “Stop it! Stop it! You’re killing me!”

And this was right in front of me. I was in shock. He’s an animal. He’s not a person. I then and there decided I didn’t need this guy. I don’t need him in my life. I don’t need him beating up my Mom. And I don’t need him harassing my brother.

She is permanently damaged

Mom is still in pain every day. She is damaged permanently. She ended up getting an orthopedic surgeon who helped her. She literally couldn’t even move the joints. It took months just to get the visible damage healed. In the end, what happened is the bone that broke up was sticking into her arm bone. That is why she couldn’t move. Because it was actually broken off and jabbing into her. She was a mess from the amount of pressure and the amount of force that was put on her body.

I tied her shoes for her, made her bed for her, and cut her food for her. I didn’t mind. Not at all. That’s not the point of this. It’s the extent of the damage, the harm, and the physical trauma.

She had shirts made that had slits down the side because she couldn’t move her arm. We had to fold it on top and zip it down so she could wear a shirt. This is not exaggerated. This is literally what her life has been like. She is permanently damaged. Her arm is limp and cannot be raised. She can’t lift anything. She is in pain all the time, like right now. There is a huge problem with circulation. So every single day, she must do ice and hot and ice to force circulation.

She works out how to function minimally. The people she works with do things for her that she can’t do. She has had to have her whole place set up, so it’s lower. She is right-handed and now must operate left-handed. She had to change her whole computer. Her whole life now is left hand. But she’s right-handed. So, if she must write something, she has clipboards she bought that she can hold low and use to write. Otherwise, she can’t hold up a pen. And that’s how it is to this day.

Domestic violence is never okay

He doesn’t care. Never even an “are you ok?” let alone an apology. And yet he still gets paid to go on TV. I don’t understand it. If you agree to pay Mike Rinder, then you agree with men beating women, and you agree with men abusing women.

If anyone else had done even close to what he did to my mother, it would be major news. That guy would be out. But because we are Scientologists, he gets away with abusing us? It’s not right. Domestic violence is never okay. It is never okay to abuse a woman.

We need to take action. We need to be fighting domestic violence and making sure that it gets stomped out, that it doesn’t happen anymore and that he gets justice for this.

Taryn

Justic4Mom