My story of Denim Day

Yesterday I attended my first-ever Denim Day event in Downtown Los Angeles, part of the Peace Over Violence movement. It was a turning point for me in having my voice heard about the violence my mother suffered at the hands of my father, Mike Rinder, and how we must stop rewarding abusers. I arrived and saw so many others carrying banners, signs and messages of their own to end abuse. I instantly felt like I was with people who cared, and who cared about me and what I had to say. It was as if every person addressing the crowd was speaking directly to me. Each had their message and their own inspiring stories of how they use art, poetry and position to help abused women gain a voice. We won’t be silent any longer.

After the speakers finished we met with them. There I was on the LA City Hall steps with tons of likeminded supporters and women I admire. We were sharing our stories. I also met with Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti and thanked him for what he is doing to support women. He was gracious and listened to me, taking my information. Seeing all the important speakers throughout the event was so empowering for me. I was excited to meet Patti Giggans, who is the Executive Director of Peace Over Violence. She is so down to earth. She listened to me and asked me to stay in touch and to contact her again. She wanted to hear what I had to say. She even stopped to introduce me to a fellow advocate. She didn’t forget me. She genuinely cared, heard me and wanted to help.

We met with Maya and Aloe to record our own chant of their message, and congratulated Yesika Salgado for her powerful poem. Everyone treated me with respect and understood my concerns about domestic abuse were important. I was touched to find so many people willing to listen and help. The amount of support I got overwhelmed me.

I now have a voice along with a group of sympathetic friends to help me get heard. We ended the day having networked with many allies, enlisting support from so many good people who care. Everywhere I turned there was someone else cheering me on and encouraging me to stay strong carrying the banner in the name of Justice4mom. I also want to thank my brave friends who came with me to show their support for being strong and helping me in the right to get justice for my mom. Thank you, Emma, Diana, Angela, Celina, Sochi and my team. Finally, I want to profusely thank everyone who organized the event, every single speaker and lastly to all women who stand with me to end abuse. Many, many thanks. Taryn.

Why are you employing my father when he savagely mauled my mother?

Mr. Sherwood, I have written to you now several times, by email and by letter. I have come to your offices to set an appointment. I have tried three times to reach anyone who could get me in touch with you, all to no avail.

I have spoken twice now with Human Resources for Disney, who assured me that my concerns would be “escalated up the ladder” and that “someone would contact me shortly.” But I have yet to hear from anyone.

Respectfully, I would like an audience with you. This is not a small matter. It is of much concern not just to me, but to the current climate in Hollywood. It concerns a Walt Disney company employing a domestic abuser. I should know because I’m his daughter and witnessed it myself. Yet I am not being listened to. And not for the lack of trying.

I am not going to be silenced. With the heightened awareness in Hollywood regarding the abuse of women, along with the #metoo and Time’s Up movement, it is incomprehensible to me that this continues to be brushed off as if it is insignificant.

I am a concerned daughter who is raising the flag for her mother who was savagely attacked and abused by her husband (my father). I watched my father, Mike Rinder, grab my mother’s arms, cross them tight and pin them so she could not move. He pulled them down with such force her knees buckled as she screamed in pain for him to stop. She would later tell me she heard what sounded like pencils snapping in her arm.

My mother’s severely gashed right forearm was covered in blood. She was treated by paramedics at the scene. It physically sickened me.

The marks and bruises told only a small part of the story. Her doctor, a respected orthopedic surgeon, concluded her arm was permanently damaged and that she would never regain full use of it. She would need years of physical therapy. To this day, she needs assistance with simple tasks because of pain she endures every day of her life.

I witnessed the attack from just a few feet away. At 5' 4", my mother never stood a chance. Every day I live with the horror of seeing my mother being assaulted by my father. My dad had his face right up to my mother’s and was spitting profanities— “You bitch! You bitch!”—while gouging the flesh of her arm. He had something in his hands (keys maybe) that tore her skin the entire length of her forearm.

As I ran over to help my mom, I remember thinking “Is this really happening? He looks like he wants to kill her!! How can this be that the man who fathered me was doing this in front of me?” The look in my dad’s eyes was rage, and it scared me.

Finally he let go.

Watching my mother being physically attacked was a nightmare I will never escape. But what makes this incident even more terrifying for me, and my mother, is that the assailant was my father, Mike Rinder, who to this day has never apologized let alone admit that he physically assaulted his wife of more than 30 years in front of his own daughter. He has never had the courage to own up to it.

My mother and I relived this nightmare because of the sickening hypocrisy of the A&E Network and the Walt Disney Co., half-owner of the network. A&E recently gushed and patted themselves on the back on how they are now focused on women, “elevating the cultural conversation.”

If that’s the case, why does my father have a job with you? Why does he cash your paychecks? He is the paid co-host and a producer of Leah Remini’s A&E’s show. How can A&E and Disney talk out of one side of their mouth about supporting women while employing someone who shredded my mother’s arm in front of me causing her permanent damage?

As perpetrators do so often in domestic assaults, my father blames the victim by claiming that my mother provoked him, so it must be her fault. In fact, he has the nerve to portray himself as the victim.

And, as perpetrators also do, he claims she’s exaggerating the injuries. The medical records, photos and descriptions by her doctor speak for themselves. (See attached to decide for yourself from the photos, her medical records and what her doctor says.) Of course, he’ll say I’m being put up to this. But I am speaking up because I love my mom and no one should be able to get away with this. There is no excuse for abuse, ever. This is my decision to do what’s right for my mom and for women.

Rather than sweep it under the rug and take my father’s word at face value, you and A&E need to look at the medical reports and confront the fact that you are supporting an abusive man.

If you do that, I’m sure you will reach only one conclusion: The production company who hired him needs to fire Mike Rinder. A&E needs to cut him loose. Disney needs to listen up and recognize it cannot have it both ways — punishing those who deserve it for the way they have treated women while giving others like my father a pass they don’t deserve.

This cannot go on unnoticed. You are paying a man who physically attacked a woman—someone he was married to for over 30 years—in front of his own daughter.

Please fire my Dad. He deserves it.

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Dear Walt Disney Co.: Stop Enriching Abusers, Fire My Dad

I watched my father grab my mother’s arms, cross them tight and pin them so she could not move. He pulled them down with such force her knees buckled as she screamed in pain for him to stop. She would later tell me she heard what sounded like pencils snapping in her arm.

My mother’s severely gashed right forearm was covered in blood. It physically sickened me. After being treated by paramedics, she would need surgery and years of physical therapy. The marks and bruises told only a small part of the story.

Her doctor, a respected orthopedic surgeon, concluded her arm was permanently damaged and that she would never regain full use of it. To this day, she needs assistance her with simple tasks because of pain she endures every day of her life.

I witnessed the attack from just a few feet away. At 5' 4", my mother never stood a chance. Every day I live with the horror of seeing my mother attacked. My dad had his face right up to my mother’s and was spitting profanities — “You bitch! You bitch!” — while gouging the flesh of her arm. He had something in his hands (keys maybe) that tore her skin the entire length of her forearm.

As I ran over to help my mom, I remember thinking “Is this really happening? He looks like he wants to kill her!! How can this be that the man who fathered me was doing this in front of me?” The look in my dad’s eyes was rage, and it scared me.

Finally he let go.

This is my mother, Cathy Bernardini.

Watching my mother being physically attacked was a nightmare I will never escape. But what makes this incident even more terrifying for me, and my mother, is that the assailant was my father, Mike Rinder, who to this day has never apologized let alone admit that he physically assaulted his wife of more than 30 years in front of his own daughter. He has never had the courage to own up to it.

Last week, my mother and I relived this nightmare because of the sickening hypocrisy of the A&E Network and the Walt Disney Co., half-owner of the network. They gushed and patted themselves on the back on how they are now focused on women, “elevating the cultural conversation.”

If that’s the case, why does my father have a job with you? He is the paid co-host and a producer of A&E’s show with Leah Remini. How can A&E and Disney talk out of one side of their mouth about supporting women while employing someone who shredded my mother’s arm in front of me?

As perpetrators do so often in domestic assaults, my father blames the victim by claiming that my mother provoked him, so it must be her fault. In fact, he has the nerve to portray himself as the victim.

He claims she’s exaggerating the injuries. (Click here to decide for yourself from her medical records and what her doctor says). Of course, he’ll say I’m being put up to speaking. But trust me: this is my decision to do what’s right for my mom and for women.

…why does my father have a job with you?…How can A & E and Disney talk on one side of their mouth about supporting women while employing someone who shredded my mother’s arm in front of me?

So, Disney: Rather than sweep it under the rug and take my father’s word at face value, you and A&E need to look at the medical reports and confront the fact that you are supporting an abusive man.

If you do that, I’m sure you will reach only one conclusion: The production company who hired him needs to fire Mike Rinder. A&E needs to cut him loose. Disney needs to listen up and recognize it cannot have it both ways — punishing those who deserve it for the way they have treated women while giving others a pass they don’t deserve.

This cannot go on unnoticed. You are paying a man who physically attacked a woman — someone he was married to for over 30 years — in front of his own daughter.

Please fire my Dad. He deserves it.