HEALING - How do you help somebody with a domestic violence situation?
You have to let them heal.
I was unfortunate enough to have witnessed my father, Mike Rinder, attack my mother. She’s a very tiny woman and he attacked her—very strongly.
At first there was blood and this and she was sort of in shock. She couldn’t believe this really happened. But then the pain just set in and it kept going and going and going and never abated. And she was in pain every day—excruciating pain. And that’s when we decided, “Okay we need to do something.” So we discovered by going to the doctor that Mike Rinder, my father, had actually cracked her shoulder when he attacked her.
And then the terror set in. It was an “Oh my God” moment. The injury she sustained was confirmed as being unhealable. She found out that she will never ever be able to fully heal from the injury for the rest of her life.
That is the very condensed story of what my father, Mike Rinder, did to my mom.
So that was what we had to confront. In such a scenario, what’s next after the domestic violence has happened? And after the incident, like for example with my father where he attacked my mother? The next step is going to be attempting to heal and doing whatever that takes. In the case of my mom, it took weeks for the pain to even calm down enough to get an operation and then months of physical therapy. And you just have to spend that time get the correct medical attention.
It also requires personal care. For me that meant giving my mom love, love, love and care and attention, and making sure we had the right doctor. It was a matter of whatever the time is that’s needed that’s what you need to invest in. And helping somebody else also helps you heal from the trauma experienced.
Another important part of healing is to take that time and spend the time and give your love to all the people in your family that aren’t abusive.
So if you know of someone that needs healing from domestic violence then help them heal. Do what I did when my father, Mike Rinder, attacked my mother viciously and damaged her for life.
Stand by that person. Help them heal. Do whatever you can do to help them, care about them, be compassionate, lend them a hand, and most importantly I think is to help provide them and make sure that they spend the full amount of time they need to do that healing so that they fully heal. And doing that you will make a difference. And it’s going to help a domestic violence survivor.
Thank you very much.
Help victims of
domestic violence heal